


Ghost

by Charg3e



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: :), Other, SO, Zofia is still married, and maybe ooc, and sad, bff is the easiest way, have fun, i think itll maybe be graphic, i wonder who dies haha, if u know me u know who it is, oh right, ok, right - Freeform, rly comfy relationship that goes beyonf labels, sry abt that part but, think of it like, viva la creative motherfucking freedom, was talking w a friend abt it, zofia and nienke are bffs that go beyond friendship, zofia/her husband/Nienke is valid to me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:40:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28593381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charg3e/pseuds/Charg3e
Summary: Its a ghost au, technically.
Relationships: Nienke "Iana" Meijer/Zofia Bosak, Zofia Bosak & Nienke "Iana" Meijer
Kudos: 3





	1. Poetic, maybe

She remembers how her blood dyed the hand of the person who held her.  
She remembers shivering pleas and caresses from gloved hands, smearing blood on her face as she wheezed.  
She remembers ringing in her ears, and muted   
She remembers a shout of judgement, a call made for safety.  
She remembers a final squeeze,  
She has forgotten if it was the crush of death, or the pain of goodbye  
She has forgotten the pain.

She couldn’t feel her heart beating, couldn’t feel the rush of blood through her limbs.  
She was weightless when she woke, hovering off the ground as she attempted to make sense of the situation.

She remembers, she is dead.

She instinctively followed a transport, a black van with tinted windows.

She needs not open the door, and when she sat on top of the roof, hoping to find a semblance of herself in where she was being taken,

She has never felt more alive.

Not that she could remember being alive in the first place.

\-----  
Zofia feels haunted.

She is haunted despite living and breathing within bloodshed,  
She is haunted by the sight of _her_ blood on her hands, staining _**her** hands yet she **couldn't do anything**_ -  
She is haunted by her own reaction to the situation.

The entire scene has replayed in her head multiple times.

It’s burned into her eyes, to which she wore her aviators to cover.  
It’s burned into her mind, to which she hid herself in work.  
It’s burned into her heart, to which she hides with a mask that she has worn since she was young.

Her mind runs through the biggest regrets in her life, the list stacks up to a painful number of 2.

It was 1, it should have remained as a 1.

Zofia wonders why she herself still exists,  
Because she certainly doesn’t feel alive.


	2. Sounds and voices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has to start slow, before we get into the good bits :)

Zofia is robotic, her father didn’t allow anything else after all.

She follows a set schedule to get through the days, it seems to be easier for her body to carry on than her heart.

Her internal clock wakes her at 5am, she picks up her phone to turn off her alarm at 5:15.

She restrains herself from staring at her home lock screen for too long, but she can’t help that it fuels her will to live when she sees her daughter. 

She nearly trips over a box that was newly placed, a care package from home she supposes.

She arrives at the ‘spare’ break room, a refurbished music room,by 5:30, her hands preparing cups of coffee, her mind blank before she realises.

She’s carrying two cups of coffee, her mind tries to argue that she needs to caffeine to get through the day,

She knows that that’s not the whole truth.

  
  


She takes two sips of the black coffee and leaves the cups on the counter, before sliding onto the bench. The keyboard in front of her is one she plays often, coming up with little songs to bond with her little girl. She manages to get through 2 sheets of Chopin: Ballade No.2 in F major before her concentration, no, autonomy is broken by the sight of the guitar case laying in her right hand corner.

She wonders how she didn’t notice it before,

Perhaps she was trying not to.

It hurts to look at, she realises.

Zofia’s heart is steeled with the walls of a woman who needed to be strong, she doesn’t let them down to anyone but family. Letting it down requires trust and love, breaking it down requires nothing, for it is nearly impossible to do so.

The guitar seemed to mock her, laying there just awaiting to be picked up by its owner. 

Who was no longer here, no longer with her.

Zofia despises her autonomy at times, she fears that not being in control may make her do things she wishes not to.

Zofia is stoic when her gloved hands attempt to brush the dust off the strings, the sound that comes out is wonky, untuned.

She strums it once, twice, tunes the guitar and remembers

She remembers the song that she sang, it's ironic how true it is.

_ Zofia is sitting, deadpanning at her schedule, the time slot was empty from 2-3pm. Nothing to do except research, reading and perhaps giving her family a call. It’d be the latter that she chose, moving from the canteen to the breakroom.  _

_ She gave her ‘roommate’ a greeting, one that was not heard through the rapping of a calculator and stacks of papers. A surprise considering her ‘roommate’ did work in advance. _

_ Leaving her to her own devices would be for the best, but she looked like she had pulled all nighters for a week, despite Zofia seeing her just earlier that morning.  _

_ The call lasts 4 minutes before her roommate looks up from her laptop, leaning back far enough that she almost falls out of her chair. Joshua is showing her Aleks drawing their family together, an additional person alongside them. Her daughter mumbles to herself in an incoherent language, before adding a green haired lady into the drawing as well. It brings out genuine laughter out of her, and that draws the attention of the disheveled engineer.  _

_ “Hello, Zo.” _

_ “Hello again” _

_ A chuckle of embarrassment slips out as [redacted] apologises for missing Zofia’s entry.  _

_ Zofia beckons the engineer to join her, and so she does.  _

_ Aleks and Joshua perk up with joy as the other woman enters the viewing angle of the camera, Aleks lifting up her artwork with pride in her eyes while her father exchanges greetings with a grin. The adults exchange simple conversation, the ‘how have you been?’ and ‘anything new?’, before Aleks grumbles at the lack of attention.  _

_ It’s adorable, the adults agree.  _

_ The engineer grabs her guitar from the case laying in the back corner of the room, putting a finger on her lips as she asked if the young one would like to hear a song.  _

_ Nods from all around, and the strum of the guitar blends with their melodious voice. _

She strums the same song, humming the melody while her head remembers the lyrics. 

**_If I ever were to lose you,_ **

**_I’d surely lose myself._ **

**_Everything I have found dear,_ **

**_I’ve not found by myself_ **

**_Try and sometimes-_ **

She catches herself, the vibrations of the phone in her pocket reminding her of her meeting with Harry. She gently places the guitar back where it belongs, it helps to hear the music that the strings emitted.

She walks to the counter to sip the now cold coffee, before pouring the other, sweeter one into a thermos despite its futility.

Work and life are two different things, she reminds herself.A loss on the field should not be a loss to her heart.

It takes her 2 minutes to reach his office on base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooc? Perhaps  
> Also Zo no dont waste coffee :(

**Author's Note:**

> Sad ooc noises  
> maybe  
> its like her internal feelings maybe it doesnt count yet-


End file.
